Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5ive
Thanks to the TVCU Crew for helping me create a bizarre timeline that makes sense.
1958–1975: Early life and the Jackson 5
August 29, 1958--Alleged birth of Michael Jackson. Michael was actually an alien who was found by the Jackson family. Michael later forced them into show biz.
June 1961--QUANTUM LEAP--"Camikazi Kid"--Dr. Sam Becket meets young Michael Jackson and teaches him the moonwalk! Michael would be only just under three years old in this scene, but QL places this in June 1961. I guess his alien DNA made him mature a little bit faster than a normal human child.
1963--TIME TRAVELING BONG--Two time traveling cousins who use a time traveling bong end up in 1963. They have no control over the broken time device. They find young Michael and decide to kidnap him, saving him from the harsh life of his overbearing father, thinking they will save him from his controversial future. However, life in 1963 is hard for these stoners and they end up returning Michael. They unwittingly influenced Michael into wanting to be white and created his abandonment issues that led to some of his bizarre child like behaviors as an adult.
Early years
1964--Michael Jackson's public career begins officially, although he was clearly already working with his brothers when he met Sam Becket in 1961.
1960s--CELEBRITY GHOST STORIES--"Jermaine Jackson"--The home of the Jacksons was occupied by evil spirits because the home was built over a sacred Indian burial ground.
Jacksonmania
1971--Michael begins his solo career.
1971 to 1973--THE JACKSON 5IVE--The animated musical adventures of the Jackson brothers.
Decline and exit
October 1972--BLACK DYNAMITE--"Just Beat It"--Black Dynamite saves Micheal Jackson from an assassination attempt when the Jackson Five are on Soul Train. (The Jackson 5 appeared on Soul Train on October 21, 1972.) Black Dynamite eventually learns that Michael is actually the abusive manipulator of the Jackson family and indeed an alien trying to take over the world. The alien race resemble the Thriller zombies. Michael's adult form is shown to be the true form of his species. He is a shapeshifter. Michael decides to betray his species and resume his human identity.
1975–1981: Move to Epic and Off the Wall
The Jacksons CBS/Epic Records
July 5, 1978--CELEBRITY CLOSE CALLS--"Jermaine Jackson"--At the height of his success with the Jackson 5, Jermaine Jackson saves his brother Michael from drowning in an ocean riptide
1982–1983: Thriller and Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever
1982--THRILLER--Michael and his date leave a werewolf movie. Also playing is the film "See You Next Wednesday", a fictional film often referenced in other fiction. Michael and his date are chased by zombies, apparently affected by Trioxin, the chemical from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. The Trioxin eventually affects Michael himself, causing him to revert to his more aggressive alien nature.
1982--Charmed establishes that real zombies were used for Thriller, manipulated by a demon. Wizards of Waverly Place also alludes to this as being fact!!! And the Michael Jackson THRILLER zombie appeared in the movie RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD PART II. As seen above, our own Crazy Ivan has also had a run in with said zombies.
1984–1985: Pepsi, "We Are the World", and business career
January 27, 1984--ROBOT CHICKEN--"Badunkadunk"--Michael Jackson is abducted by the Grey Aliens following the infamous Pepsi commercial where Michael caught fire and replaced by "White Michael Jackson" as part of some odd plot to take over the world.
1986–1990: Changing appearance, tabloids, Bad, films, autobiography, and Neverland
1986--CAPTAIN EO--Michael Jackson has left Earth and taken on the identity of Captain EO. It could be the EO is Michael's real name. Characters from Captain EO later crossover over with Star Wars, in STAR TOURS: THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES. Since Michael seemed to have aged in normal human like time and then became immortal as an adult, this can't be Michael in the past. Let's assume that Micael is EO, and that EO is Michael's alien name. Let's also assume that Michael had adventures as EO at some point in his long adult life, and that at some point he spent some time in the past of the Star Wars Galaxy. (If we believe KINGDOM HEARTS and ONCE UPON A TIME, Star Wars doesn't actually take place in the past, but actually exists contemporary in another dimension.) Of course, we know that Michael left in 1984 when the Grey Aliens kidnapped him. He must have escaped and went on to have further adventures as EO.
1988--RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 2--Of course I've previously mentioned how the Romero "Dead" movies take place in an alternate timeline, but the Return of the Living Dead series are in the TVCU. In this film, the Thriller Zombie appears. Of course, this isn't Michael Jackson necessarily, but perhaps another of Michael's shape shifting zombie alien race.
1988--MOONWALKER--Michael Jackson demonstrates his shape shifting abilities (which he has because he's an alien). He takes on gangsters led by Mr. Big. The shooting start that the child wishes upon, which brings Michael, may have been the Captain EO spaceship. The drug dealers may have been K.R.A.K., from the video game NARC. In that game, Mr. Big is in a wheel chair, which may be the result of this adventure. I believe that his represents the real Michael Jackson's return to Earth after being kidnapped in 1984 by the Grey Aliens. Even though the Robot Chicken sketch claims that the White Michael Jackson had been replacing Michael for over 15 years, I'd rather attribute the later Men in Black stuff to the real Michael. Since I posted this, it's been brought to my attention that among those chasing Michael Jackson are the Noid from the Domino's commercials.
September 1989--ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS--"Home Sweet Home"--I've demonstrated before that Alvin (the 80s version) could exist in the TVCU, through crossovers with the Wolf Man, Mister T, and Back to the Future. Here, Michael Jackson helps the Chipmunks with a charity concert.
1991–1993: Dangerous, Heal the World Foundation, and Super Bowl XXVII
1991--REMEMBER THE TIME--Michael gets thrown back in time to Ancient Egypt, or visits another fairy tale realm based on Ancient Egypt. He uses his alien abilities to become wizard adviser to the pharaoh.
September 1991--THE SIMPSONS--"Stark Raving Dad"--The Simpsons meet a man who believes himself to be Michael Jackson. Note that the character is indeed voiced by Michael Jackson, but the character is a man who suffers from a delusion, believing himself to be Michael Jackson, but he is not.
1993–1994: First child sexual abuse allegations and first marriage
1993--DANGEROUS: THE SHORT FILMS--The Simpsons work with Michael Jackson....the real one, not the mental patient who thinks he's Michael Jackson.
1995–1997: HIStory, second marriage, and fatherhood
1996--GHOSTS--The Maestro may be another of Michael's race of zombie alien shapeshifters with supernatural powers. The Maestro lives in a mansion overlooking Normal Valley, who loves to entertain children but gets chased by the locals. The Maestro commands an army of dancing ghouls much as the Thriller commands an army of zombies. This short film/music video seems to have connections to both the works of Stephen King and to the Addams Family.
1997–2002: Label dispute and Invincible
January 1999--CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH--"Death Bowl'99"--Michael Jackson and Madonna battle to the death. It's been my theory that most of the celebrity combatants are clones. Though with Michael's alien physiology, it could the the real Michael Jackson seen here.
1999--SPACE CHANNEL 5--Michael Jackson saves the world from an alien invasion using his dance moves.
2000--READY 2 RUMBLE: ROUND 2--Michael Jackson is among the boxers!
Later years
2002–2005: Second child sexual abuse allegations and acquittal
2002--MEN IN BLACK 2--Michael Jackson advocates to join the Men in Black. Considering that he is an alien, it makes sense that he is aware of the existence if the MIB. Since I posted this, it's been brought to my attention that in foreign versions of this film, Michael Jackson is said to be an alien, which fits nicely with the rest of this timeline. However, in the original English version, it's Dennis Rodman that's referenced as an alien, and that works for me too since 3rd Rock from the Sun also says that Dennis Rodman is an alien (and that Michael Jordan is a robot!)
2003--SCARY MOVIE 3--A grey alien poses as Michael Jackson. The first Scary Movie had Squiggy from LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY as the school principle, so as ridiculous as the films are, they sort of fit in the TVCU. The alien must have posed as Michael because Michael is an alien who has an in with the Men in Black. In the later Robot Chicken sketch, it's revealed that this "White Michael Jackson" was created by the aliens as part of a plot to conquer Earth, an invasion that is played out in this film.
2004--MISS CAST AWAY AND THE ISLAND GIRLS--Michael is now an MIB agent. However, his mission in this film is to manipulate island castaways for the purposes of the Vatican. It's probably because of the unethical nature of this mission that he later moves with his son to South Park under an assumed name.
2004--SOUTH PARK--"The Jeffersons"--Michael Jackson has the Ark of the Covenant in his house
April 2005--ROBOT CHICKEN--"Badunkadunk"--Amidst the controversial trial regarding child molestation charges, it's revealed that the Michael Jackson on trial is not the real Michael Jackson. This is "White Michael Jackson", a clone created by the Grey Aliens in 1984, part of their plans to conquer Earth. This White Michael Jackson is battled by the real MIB Agent Michael Jackson, AKA Captain EO. It appears that both are killed in this sketch, but of course Michael (the real one, I believe) does survive.
2006–2009: Closure of Neverland, final years, and This Is It
May 2007--FAMILY GUY--"Meet the Quagmires"--Roger from American Dad! appears at the very end of the episode. His sole line from the episode is a reference to the first episode of American Dad, where he says "Francine, did you remember to get the Pecan Sandies?" Great care is taken to recreate the feel of the decade. Some of the episode’s plot-points are derived from the Back to the Future trilogy and it incorporates elements from other movies: St. Elmo’s Fire, Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, Zapped!, Krull, Sixteen Candles, Die Hard, and Hellraiser. The time travel is animated to resemble Quantum Leap, and Brian propositions Lois in the televised version by using the band names Wham!, Oingo Boingo and Velvet Underground. Quagmire references the entrance to Hogwarts (from Harry Potter) when telling the guys about the fourth hole that women allegedly have. When Cleveland invites Peter to party at St. Elmo's Clam, Peter says that they will raise more Hell than Hellraiser, before cutting away to Pinhead, who is on a date, and unscrews the top of a salt shaker, which causes salt to spill onto his girlfriend's food, to his own amusement. This episode spoofs the title sequence of The Jetsons, copying it exactly up to the point where Jane tries to leave with George's wallet. Unlike the previous Jetsons spoof in “Brian in Love”, which featured Family Guy versions of the Jetson characters, this spoof features them in their original designs. While Brian is singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" you can see Michael Jackson and 2 gang leaders dancing, and Peter and Lois following. This is a reference to the closing dance in the Michael Jackson song "Beat It". This episode is loosely based on the plot of Back to the Future, and heavily spoofs it during the dance scene. During the dance scene, the photograph Brian pulls out while playing guitar, the first song playing, the phone call, Brian overdoing the second song, and the way Peter wins back Lois all parody the dance scene from the film. The same song "Earth Angel" plays during both dance scenes, mirroring the events in the dance in tune with the song. Although the episode parodies the first Back to the Future, much of the second Back to the Future is suggested, particularly the creepy alternate 1985 music when Peter learns of the skewered timeline, and Brian acting like Doc Brown using a blackboard to explain how history changed. In the TV version, during the Jetsons opening spoof George says "Bullcrap" instead of "bullshit".
June 25, 2009--This is the day the real Michael Jackson died in the real world. I in no means wish to dishonor the legacy of Micheal Jackson, and this post is not a mockery of his complicated life. This post is a tribute to the impact Michael Jackson had on pop culture. So in saying that, in the TVCU, Michael did die on this date, but is resurrected a year later by a Frankenstein.
The Jacksons: Unity Tour
June 2010--MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENHOLE--"Yawn of the Dead"--Dr. Victor Frankenstein, but not THE Dr. Victor Frankenstein, resurrects Michael Jackson and reunites him with his son, Blanket.
March 2011--FAMILY GUY--"The Hand that Rocks the Wheelchair"--The ending with Stewie's were-wolf yellow eyes and maniacal laughter is taken from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video. The music playing when evil Stewie appears is from the Star Trek episode "The Enemy Within". Stewie's clone's reversal of colors is similar to Clark Kent and Bizarro in Smallville.
2011
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| Frankenstein's Monster and Ivan |
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| Ivan resists the evil of the Thriller |
MARCH OF THE LIVING DEAD - Ivan is visited in a dream by Donovan Scott, who tells him "they're putting the band back together." Thinking Scott meant the Vogue Rogues, Ivan meets with Andre, Cookie, and Gus in Louisville. During their reunion, which coincided with the Super Full Moon, an explosion at the Rubbertown Chemical Plant complex produces a new crop of Trioxin zombies, complete with the return of Thriller. The undead are put down by the Vogue Rogues with assistance from the Monster of Frankenstein, who mentions having fought similar zombies in Santa Mira, California alongside two froggy brothers.
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| The Rogues at Scott's grave, March 2011 |
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| The zombies were having fun... |
2499--SPACE CHANNEL 5--An evil alien kidnaps people and forces them to dance. Michael Jackson appears. This is the original Michael Jackson. As an alien, he clearly has a longer life span. It's said that 500 years earlier, Michael stopped an alien invasion of Earth using his dance moves.
For John D. Lindsey, Jr.... (Private Joke among the Crewsies). Join us in the forum if you'd like to know what this is about.
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